Sometimes things happen that are out of your control. It's so easy to
have everything lie like a fragile balancing act in your hand. Then
suddenly, you trip on the path of life. Whoosh. It flies into pieces.
Your homework in one direction. Sports in another. Familial life
tumbles to the ground. Your heart shatters in pieces. Emotions run
awry as you try to pick everything up. But that doesn't really work.
You see, whenever you grab one piece, you lose grasp of the last one
that you took hold of.
Nothing seems to work. Nothing is in
control. They're worse than the Cornish Pixies in Harry Potter. You
can't seem to catch anything. They evade you with evil delight. And
soon, they're farther apart then ever.
Everything's going in the
wrong direction, spreading out to the point where you can never get your
life back in control. The peaces of your life fly apart. If you're a
grammar Nazi, a spelling Nazi, or a real Nazi (i hope this isn't the
case :P) you probably noticed that i said peaces. Not pieces. Peaces.
But there's a reason for that. The perfect life is peace. Now
when a pot is broken, there is pottery across the floor. Such is the
same with peace. When it is shattered, peace becomes peaces.
Now
most of us are striving towards summer, and if you're life is anything
like mine, peaces are flying everywhere. It's not just one thing. It's
everything.
I'm listening to a Torrey lecture right now. I have
twp essays and seven to nine math lessons/tests due on Friday. I just
finished my Torrey term paper after slaving away in a six square foot
corner of our car for three days. I'm tired. And homework may make my
grave before seventy-two hours are up.
I'm completely out of
shape from studying. I haven't had time to practice basketball, shoot
some hoops, or touch my foil in ages. I almost dread going back to
sports. What if I can't play them anymore? It will be painful to go
back to the rigorous schedule being completely out of shape.
People
have unknowingly hurt me. It wasn't meant to be at my expense. But it
hurt me still. And sometimes, when one needs people, they aren't
always there.
Next year still seems up in the air. Plans are not
set in stone for the things that I highly care about. I don't know
what's going on. And I may not find out till next year. I hate being
in the dark. It bothers me and stresses me out.
Imagine a pot
dropping from the sky. It spins, sunlight glinting off its golden brown
hues. It turns once. Twice. Falling evermore. But it has to hit the
ground sometimes. And when the pot meets the floor, pots turn to
pottery. Peace turns to peaces. Both fly in the air. Too far and too
broken, to shattered for anyone to make whole once more.
Perhaps
we think that the summer is coming. A time for us to recuperate, to
turn our peaces back to peace. For teenagers, for kids, summer appears
to be our time. Our time to rule.
However, I can tell you for a
fact, peaces won't turn to peace just becomes its the summer. Peaces
cannot ever turn to peace. You can piece your heart, your sanity, your
life back together. But that won't work. It never, ever will.
Peaces can never turn to peace.
Not on your watch.
One
cannot fix anything, let alone everything. The peaces shall float
away, farther and farther with every attempt to turn peaces to peace.
There's only one person who can turn peaces back to peace. And its not you.
It's
easy to realize it's not you who can stop the peaces from flying. But
the question is will you let him piece your peace back together? Will
you hand him your heart to make it whole? Will you give him your brain,
to stop the ache? Will you trust him with your sanity to make you
sane?
Peaces can never turn to peace.
Not on your watch.
Showing posts with label meditations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditations. Show all posts
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Harder Than We Dreamed of
We went dancing in the minefields,
We're sailing in the storms,
This is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for....
Life is hard. Harder than we can imagine. It's just about Thanksgiving, and I can safely say that I'm burnt out. Burnt out with the heaviest load of school, sports, and extra-curricular activities that I've ever had before. And there have been times that I've felt like I'm done with this.
There have been times at four in the morning where I want to break down sobbing over a precis. There have been times where I want to just collapse in the gym during basketball conditioning. There have been times that I've wanted to just scream at the world, at the walls of work and things that seem to be trying to crush and suffocate me.
But I can keep going because of a motivation. There is something that I'm working for that's more than just a college, a place on the varsity team, a checkmark at tournament. I'm working to try to prove to myself that I'm good enough. Good enough though, for what? Why do I want to be good enough?
I've realized something. I'm insecure. I'm insecure in the same way that every human is. I worry about how I look, how I act, and what my face is to the world. I worry if I'm smart enough...kind enough...talented enough...good enough...
But I know something else. I can't keep this up. I can't just keep working to prove something. No matter how much work I put into it, proving myself just isn't worth that. I'll never prove to myself that I'm good enough. Why? Because it won't truly fulfill me.
"There is a God shaped vacuum inside of each of us." ~Blaise Pascal
We have to have something worthwhile to fulfill us. We need God to fill this emptiness inside of each of us. We need God to give us this meaning, not ourselves. Otherwise, it will be terribly hard.
But letting God fill this emptiness doesn't make it easy. We have to continuously let Him fill it, otherwise we will return to the rat race. It will be hard, harder than we dreamed of; but we make it worse if God is not the one who fulfills.
In this day and age, marriages often bear the brunt of this. So often, I have seen people get married. So often, I have heard of divorce. I've heard of the tears that follow. I've seen the difficulties in marriage. I'm only in high school, but I can tell that it's hard, harder than I can ever dream of. It needs to have something more than love to hold it together, and that's just what "Dancing in the Minefields" speaks about.
I was nineteen and you were twenty-one,
The year we got engaged,
Everyone said we were much to young,
But we did it anyway
How many times do we think that love can fulfill us? But how many times have we seen a marriage dissolve? How could something that is so fickle seem so worthy, so worthwhile? Will it really be as fulfilling as everyone of us thinks?
We bought our rings for forty each,
From a pawnshop down the road,
We made our vows and took the leap,
Now fifteen years ago
So much is invested. So much is risked, but again...for what? This leap...for what? The answer is again, love...but the same question arises...will this fulfill?
We went dancing in the minefields,
We're sailing in the storms,
This is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for
Love seems to make it possible to dance through the minefields, unscathed. To sail through the storms, unshaken...but it is hard...but marriage still exists, anchored on what? A promise of love...but this promise is still empty. Love is fickle. Love will blow away, like a dandelion in the wind.
Well "I do" are the most famous last words,
The beginning of the end,
But to lose your life for another, I've heard,
Is a good place to begin,
Marriage is so many people's end goals, the beginning of the end. But it's more than just love. It's exactly that, loosing your life for another. It's letting go of the love for yourself and giving it, not just partially, but fully to someone else.
Cause the only way to find your life,
Is to lay your own life down,
And I believe it's an easy price,
For the life that we have found,
But who do you give this love to? The common consensus would be your spouse. But I'll disagree. I'll disagree majorly. In a marriage, you have to lay your life down to God. That's the only way to truly find the type of marriage that is so sought after.
And we're dancing in the minefields,
We're sailing through the storms,
This is the harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for
It's still going to be hard, but it will be feasible. Love makes it possible, but love to Christ. He's the one who will have to loved before any love can even be directed to another. If that is who truly anchors your love, it will be harder than you dream. But it will be worthwhile. It will be paradoxical...but it shall be true.
So when I lose my way, find me,
And, when I lose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith to the end of all my days, bind me,
When I forget my name, remind me,
This finder...it can't be a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or any object of affection. It needs to be God.
'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man,
So there's nothing left to fear,
So I'll walk with you in the shadow lands,
'Till the shadows disappear,
If we are His children. If we truly sacrifice our love to Him, there will be nothing left to fear. He will keep and grow your love. And then it will be possible, possible to pierce the shadows with a love that will not and cannot die.
'Cause He promised not to leave us,
And His promises are true,
So in the face of chaos,
Baby, I can dance with you,
When love is given to Him, He will gives the ability to work through the pain. It will be harder than ever dreamed. But you can sail through the storms.
So let's go dancing in minefields,
Let's go sailing in the storms,
Oh let's go dancing in the minefields,
And kicking down the doors,
Oh let's go dancing in the minefields,
And go sailing in the storms,
Oh, this is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for,
That's what the promise is for.
This love, this life, must be fueled by Christ to find any meaning. Otherwise it will be shallow. Otherwise the mines will be tripped over. Otherwise, the boats will sink. Otherwise the doors will still remain closed. This life is harder than we dreamed of. But it will be worth it. It will be paradoxically feasible...
Because of Him. So give it up and dance, dance through the minefields.
We're sailing in the storms,
This is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for....
Life is hard. Harder than we can imagine. It's just about Thanksgiving, and I can safely say that I'm burnt out. Burnt out with the heaviest load of school, sports, and extra-curricular activities that I've ever had before. And there have been times that I've felt like I'm done with this.
There have been times at four in the morning where I want to break down sobbing over a precis. There have been times where I want to just collapse in the gym during basketball conditioning. There have been times that I've wanted to just scream at the world, at the walls of work and things that seem to be trying to crush and suffocate me.
But I can keep going because of a motivation. There is something that I'm working for that's more than just a college, a place on the varsity team, a checkmark at tournament. I'm working to try to prove to myself that I'm good enough. Good enough though, for what? Why do I want to be good enough?
I've realized something. I'm insecure. I'm insecure in the same way that every human is. I worry about how I look, how I act, and what my face is to the world. I worry if I'm smart enough...kind enough...talented enough...good enough...
But I know something else. I can't keep this up. I can't just keep working to prove something. No matter how much work I put into it, proving myself just isn't worth that. I'll never prove to myself that I'm good enough. Why? Because it won't truly fulfill me.
"There is a God shaped vacuum inside of each of us." ~Blaise Pascal
We have to have something worthwhile to fulfill us. We need God to fill this emptiness inside of each of us. We need God to give us this meaning, not ourselves. Otherwise, it will be terribly hard.
But letting God fill this emptiness doesn't make it easy. We have to continuously let Him fill it, otherwise we will return to the rat race. It will be hard, harder than we dreamed of; but we make it worse if God is not the one who fulfills.
In this day and age, marriages often bear the brunt of this. So often, I have seen people get married. So often, I have heard of divorce. I've heard of the tears that follow. I've seen the difficulties in marriage. I'm only in high school, but I can tell that it's hard, harder than I can ever dream of. It needs to have something more than love to hold it together, and that's just what "Dancing in the Minefields" speaks about.
I was nineteen and you were twenty-one,
The year we got engaged,
Everyone said we were much to young,
But we did it anyway
How many times do we think that love can fulfill us? But how many times have we seen a marriage dissolve? How could something that is so fickle seem so worthy, so worthwhile? Will it really be as fulfilling as everyone of us thinks?
We bought our rings for forty each,
From a pawnshop down the road,
We made our vows and took the leap,
Now fifteen years ago
So much is invested. So much is risked, but again...for what? This leap...for what? The answer is again, love...but the same question arises...will this fulfill?
We went dancing in the minefields,
We're sailing in the storms,
This is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for
Love seems to make it possible to dance through the minefields, unscathed. To sail through the storms, unshaken...but it is hard...but marriage still exists, anchored on what? A promise of love...but this promise is still empty. Love is fickle. Love will blow away, like a dandelion in the wind.
Well "I do" are the most famous last words,
The beginning of the end,
But to lose your life for another, I've heard,
Is a good place to begin,
Marriage is so many people's end goals, the beginning of the end. But it's more than just love. It's exactly that, loosing your life for another. It's letting go of the love for yourself and giving it, not just partially, but fully to someone else.
Cause the only way to find your life,
Is to lay your own life down,
And I believe it's an easy price,
For the life that we have found,
But who do you give this love to? The common consensus would be your spouse. But I'll disagree. I'll disagree majorly. In a marriage, you have to lay your life down to God. That's the only way to truly find the type of marriage that is so sought after.
And we're dancing in the minefields,
We're sailing through the storms,
This is the harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for
It's still going to be hard, but it will be feasible. Love makes it possible, but love to Christ. He's the one who will have to loved before any love can even be directed to another. If that is who truly anchors your love, it will be harder than you dream. But it will be worthwhile. It will be paradoxical...but it shall be true.
So when I lose my way, find me,
And, when I lose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith to the end of all my days, bind me,
When I forget my name, remind me,
This finder...it can't be a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or any object of affection. It needs to be God.
'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man,
So there's nothing left to fear,
So I'll walk with you in the shadow lands,
'Till the shadows disappear,
If we are His children. If we truly sacrifice our love to Him, there will be nothing left to fear. He will keep and grow your love. And then it will be possible, possible to pierce the shadows with a love that will not and cannot die.
'Cause He promised not to leave us,
And His promises are true,
So in the face of chaos,
Baby, I can dance with you,
When love is given to Him, He will gives the ability to work through the pain. It will be harder than ever dreamed. But you can sail through the storms.
So let's go dancing in minefields,
Let's go sailing in the storms,
Oh let's go dancing in the minefields,
And kicking down the doors,
Oh let's go dancing in the minefields,
And go sailing in the storms,
Oh, this is harder than we dreamed,
But I believe that's what the promise is for,
That's what the promise is for.
This love, this life, must be fueled by Christ to find any meaning. Otherwise it will be shallow. Otherwise the mines will be tripped over. Otherwise, the boats will sink. Otherwise the doors will still remain closed. This life is harder than we dreamed of. But it will be worth it. It will be paradoxically feasible...
Because of Him. So give it up and dance, dance through the minefields.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Life Lessons: Poptarts, Twix Bars, and Peach Rings
Life can teach and remind you of the most ridiculous things with the most ridiculous things. Today, he used Poptarts, Twix, and peach rings to bring out some really important points.
Poptarts:
When
you put a Poptart inside a toaster, there is one thing that it must
inherently do; pop up once it’s ready. It won’t come out until it’s the
right time. However, it’s not the Poptart that knows when it’s the
right time, it’s the toaster.
In our lives, God is the toaster; we are the Poptart. He prepares us each for special purposes, but we can’t rush Him. We don’t have any control over the when, where, how, and etcetera. It’s not our timing; it’s His. And because it is His timing, it is perfect.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. ~Habakkuk 2:3
In our lives, God is the toaster; we are the Poptart. He prepares us each for special purposes, but we can’t rush Him. We don’t have any control over the when, where, how, and etcetera. It’s not our timing; it’s His. And because it is His timing, it is perfect.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. ~Habakkuk 2:3
Twix:
Putting cookies, caramel, and milk chocolate together is a winning combination. It’s also what makes up a Twix bar. The equation adds up, three tasty foods put together make even tastier food. That makes perfect sense in cooking, but not always in life.
Life is much different than a Twix bar. Many times, there are un-enjoyable elements in it. We may see the ingredients of our life and ask how the outcome can ever be good. However, when there is bad in the equation, that does not mean that it is ruined. God directs the outcome, not us; and the “bad” ingredients (namely stuff like broccoli and cauliflower) in the candy bar of life are there to grow us. We may see the ingredients of our life and ask how the outcome can be good, but the key thing to remember is that God is in charge.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11
Peach Rings:
Peach rings are definitely an interesting thing. They’re a sweet, chewy candy that’s coated in sugar. However, the best thing about them is definitely the shape. When your tongue envelopes this piece of candy, it finds that it is a perfect circle, presenting no end true “end” to it. These aspects that compose peach rings also apply to a very much more abstract thing, God’s love.
First aspects first, God’s love is very sweet. It just gives me a thrill to even begin thinking about it! He sent His only Son to die on the cross for our sins. This gesture itself demonstrates His great love; and although His death was very sad, it also was very sweet.
Another shared aspect of peach rings and God’s love is chewiness. This may sounds strange to say that God’s love is “chewy”, but what I mean by this is that it is very forgiving. Chewy candies are extremely forgiving to the shape of one’s mouth. They do not slice or crack like hard candies are prone to do.
The last aspect that God’s love and peach rings share is the being of a perfect circle. God’s love will never end. Even if you mess up so bad that nobody else in the world will accept you, God will because his love is unending.
See what kind of love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ~1 John 3:1
Putting cookies, caramel, and milk chocolate together is a winning combination. It’s also what makes up a Twix bar. The equation adds up, three tasty foods put together make even tastier food. That makes perfect sense in cooking, but not always in life.
Life is much different than a Twix bar. Many times, there are un-enjoyable elements in it. We may see the ingredients of our life and ask how the outcome can ever be good. However, when there is bad in the equation, that does not mean that it is ruined. God directs the outcome, not us; and the “bad” ingredients (namely stuff like broccoli and cauliflower) in the candy bar of life are there to grow us. We may see the ingredients of our life and ask how the outcome can be good, but the key thing to remember is that God is in charge.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11
Peach Rings:
Peach rings are definitely an interesting thing. They’re a sweet, chewy candy that’s coated in sugar. However, the best thing about them is definitely the shape. When your tongue envelopes this piece of candy, it finds that it is a perfect circle, presenting no end true “end” to it. These aspects that compose peach rings also apply to a very much more abstract thing, God’s love.
First aspects first, God’s love is very sweet. It just gives me a thrill to even begin thinking about it! He sent His only Son to die on the cross for our sins. This gesture itself demonstrates His great love; and although His death was very sad, it also was very sweet.
Another shared aspect of peach rings and God’s love is chewiness. This may sounds strange to say that God’s love is “chewy”, but what I mean by this is that it is very forgiving. Chewy candies are extremely forgiving to the shape of one’s mouth. They do not slice or crack like hard candies are prone to do.
The last aspect that God’s love and peach rings share is the being of a perfect circle. God’s love will never end. Even if you mess up so bad that nobody else in the world will accept you, God will because his love is unending.
See what kind of love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ~1 John 3:1
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Alright With Okay
How many times have we heard, "it's alright, you did your best?" How many times do we use that simple excuse to be complacent, to be alright with okay?
But what if we didn't try our best? What if we didn't give it our all? Is it then still fine to be happy with where we are? Why do we strive so hard in somethings, but we exercise minimal effort with what truly matters?
Complacency leads to nowhere. You stay where you are. It's like running on a hamster wheel, exerting so much energy, yet not moving an inch. Would this energy be better used elsewhere instead of feeding the nothingness of complacency? Imagine if the hamster wheel was attached to a light bulb so that the energy exerted on the wheel could power it? This would be so much more useful.
Okay means average, but intertwined in average is the ability to be above-average. And for this very reason, okay should not be okay. No one should be alright with okay. God gave us a purpose in life, and being alright with okay, is not alright. Never.
But what if we didn't try our best? What if we didn't give it our all? Is it then still fine to be happy with where we are? Why do we strive so hard in somethings, but we exercise minimal effort with what truly matters?
Complacency leads to nowhere. You stay where you are. It's like running on a hamster wheel, exerting so much energy, yet not moving an inch. Would this energy be better used elsewhere instead of feeding the nothingness of complacency? Imagine if the hamster wheel was attached to a light bulb so that the energy exerted on the wheel could power it? This would be so much more useful.
Okay means average, but intertwined in average is the ability to be above-average. And for this very reason, okay should not be okay. No one should be alright with okay. God gave us a purpose in life, and being alright with okay, is not alright. Never.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Hold My Heart: The Necessary Answer
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
These lyrics come from the song "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North. Honestly, these four simple lines can seem quite dismal and depressing. They don't need to be. Simple and stark, they seem to be exactly as they appear. However, these lyrics leave a question lingering in the air.
One tear in the dropping rain
A tear in rain seems just like another droplet of water, so unnoticed, so inconsequential...
One voice in a sea of pain
When the waves crash, it is deafening. When a human speaks, it is barely audible. In the ocean roar, a single voice can seem so lost, so unimportant...
Could the Maker of the stars
This God, the Creator of everything...
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
To some, it's just another crack in a million. To others, it's THEIR heart that's ripped to shreds.
The answer to this question is simple, stark, and true. It is love, unyielding and unbending. The Maker of the stars, MY God, the Creator of everything, does care about the sound of my breaking heart. He cares about the sound of YOUR breaking heart. Every tear in the dropping rain, every voice in the sea of pain is noticed by him. They are seen; they are heard; and they are remedied through His love.
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
These lyrics come from the song "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North. Honestly, these four simple lines can seem quite dismal and depressing. They don't need to be. Simple and stark, they seem to be exactly as they appear. However, these lyrics leave a question lingering in the air.
One tear in the dropping rain
A tear in rain seems just like another droplet of water, so unnoticed, so inconsequential...
One voice in a sea of pain
When the waves crash, it is deafening. When a human speaks, it is barely audible. In the ocean roar, a single voice can seem so lost, so unimportant...
Could the Maker of the stars
This God, the Creator of everything...
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
To some, it's just another crack in a million. To others, it's THEIR heart that's ripped to shreds.
The answer to this question is simple, stark, and true. It is love, unyielding and unbending. The Maker of the stars, MY God, the Creator of everything, does care about the sound of my breaking heart. He cares about the sound of YOUR breaking heart. Every tear in the dropping rain, every voice in the sea of pain is noticed by him. They are seen; they are heard; and they are remedied through His love.
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